Oh there have been boys, and boyfriends, and flings and mutual one-night stands, but not a boy like this. We finally experienced a man that showed us how great we are, exactly the way we are. However, as great as the guys have been, they all have one motherfucking huge character flaw: they are selfish as fuck.
As great and perfect and awesome these men have been, they have had no problem making us wait, having us put our lives on hold for them, and what’s scary is how willing we have been to appease them. These smart, successful, fucking amazing girls are so willing to uproot their lives after ALLLLL they have worked for, for these men.
A little one-sided right? Right.
The hardest part, is the moment you realize that no matter what you do, no matter how much you give up to prove your commitment, it’s always going to be one-sided. And it’s not completely the dude’s fault.
First loves usually fail because you are heading in different directions, or you are in different parts of your life. You can wait for them, or follow them, and many ladies choose to do that. I’m not saying that that is the right or wrong choice, but my friends are not those type of girls. And yet here they are, stuck in a moment of complete confusion and denial of how unhappy they are with this situation.
I walked away from my first love 3 months ago, and the hardest part was knowing that he wasn’t going to fight for me, not even once. He was going to respect my wishes and stay away. Which he has, and that pain was unbearable… at first.
I had a month where I didn’t want to do anything that was remotely “me” because everything that made me, me, was everything he liked about me, and was what made me so amazing, according to him. (Let’s see how many more times I can say “me” in this paragraph?) And if I couldn’t get him to be with me by being that person, then I never wanted to be that person again. (Only once.)
I had two choices in this situation, I could stay in the “open” long-distance relationship in hopes that he would realize how much he loved me and decide that I was worth it to fully commit, or I could walk away, knowing he was never going to think I was worth the distance. And less than 24 hours of literally being in his arms, I walked away.At first, I thought I was just being stubborn. That I was letting pride get in the way of “love.” But I wasn’t. I had finally stepped away and saw how selfish he was being. How he used me emotionally and physically and how quickly and easily he could disregard everything that we were as “casual.”
Side note: He replaced me in less than three months. Their relationship lasted about three weeks on facebook.
Side note: He replaced me in less than three months. Their relationship lasted about three weeks on facebook.
I’m not bitter (anymore). I’m not hurt (anymore). I still I love all the memories of “us.” He showed me how great of a person I was and until the very end, he showed me how to be treated by a man. And for that I will always be thankful.
I’m writing this and reliving the hell for you, to tell you…you need to walk away. He’s not going to change his mind. He never will.
You’ve done everything you can to show him how much you love him. He just doesn’t feel the same way. Or maybe he does, and walking away will finally make him realize that.
It’s your turn to be selfish. You’ve put your life on hold long enough. Yeah, walking away is going to fucking suck (at first).
But believe me… you will not regret it. Any of it.