Alright Ladies (and one dude that reads my blog), guess who's got two thumbs and just wrote her first sex/relationship advice column...THIS GIRL!
And my first question is from a Ms. NellieVaughn:
“How do you go about regaining the affection ogf someone you treated like absolute crap? We never dated. It was a very grade school crush we had for each other.”
First off, it’s going to depend on the person and how badly you treated them in the past. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve used the “treat ‘em like shit” tactic plenty of times and it definitely had some positive affects on my sex life. But it also led to a lot of unnecessary bickering and bullshit with a person that I wasn’t even dating.
It will also depend on if a new chick came into their lives since you graced him with your “loveliness” and didn’t treat him like shit. All it takes is one person who actually cares about someone to ruin all the chances for us assholes out their in the world.
Once someone is shown how to actually be treated in a relationship, they won’t go back to anything less. Sorry.
So, I would do your research. Facebook stalk, ask the “creepy questions” to your mutual friends, and if you really feel like you messed up something good you will be doing a lot of “putting yourself out there emotionally” shit with this person. And believe me, it’s going to feel icky at first, but it will be worth it. Or it will blow up in your face. One of the two.
I have a very “fuck it” mentality when it comes to putting yourself out there in relationships. And if your not willing to say “fuck it I’m putting myself out their whether it works out or not for this dude,” you don’t really care about him and I wouldn’t even try again in the first place.
Now the dude may be excited to have you back in his life, but he may also feel like now he get’s the right to treat you like shit. You’re going to have to honestly ask yourself, is this how I want to be treated? Personally, even if you did treat them like shit, don’t start another vicious cycle of shittiness. It never works out. Never.
It will be fun at first, but the same issues will arise again, the main one probably being that you two are both total assholes to one another. One total asshole cannot date another asshole. That’s just scientific knowledge there.
You should also ask yourself why you want to be in this person’s life again. And be honest with yourself. It’s okay if its just because you miss the attention. I allowed a guy to treat me like shit for over 2 years because I loved the attention. We’re still friends but don’t talk to him anymore, and it has been one of the greatest decisions of my life.
I hope this helps. If it doesn’t, you can’t blame me. I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about.