Ladies, we suck.


Ladies. We suck. Like seriously we do. Our emotions and insane ability to rationalize every answer we didn’t want to hear/bad situation/how eating certain foods while standing helps you lose weight, will always hold us back in our lives.

The moment that we can start taking everything at face value and not try to decipher through the many “levels of what that really meant” or as I like to call it “psycho girl bullshit babble” to make that straightforward answer we didn’t want to hear into something positive, will be the moment that we will truly rule the world.

This is life, ladies. Not everything is going to go our way. And trying to hide behind our over rationalization will only make the situation worse and harder for you to separate yourself from said situation(s). You owe it to yourself to grow a pair of balls and take it like it is.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not not including myself in this category of girls because I do this shit ALL. THE. FUCKING. TIME. I am so sick of my ability to do this. It’s nauseating. It’s frustrating. And it’s holding me back in my life.

But, god damnit, it is so much easier to live in that deluded sense of reality than sometimes be disappointed with your life. And if your life consists of hours of over rationalization over boys/men/people with penises, your life is pretty fucking good.

Stop pussyfooting around and deal with it. I know I sound mad in this post and that’s because I am. But mostly I’m mad at myself and my immaturity, so I’m using this post as a moment to yell at myself for how retarded I am acting.

Stop it. Just fucking stop it. Grow up and act like a man! Emotionally, that is. Just take it like is, get a little mad, and punch someone. (That’s how it works right?) Botta bing, botta boom. And move the fuck on.

I know at certain times it is impossible to control, PMS is a Grade A whore that’s only real purpose in your life is to destroy your self-esteem with passive aggressive comments about how much you suck as a person lingering in that pretty little head of yours.

Our lady emotions just seem to have this uncanny ability to make logic look like bullshit and bullshit look like logic. But the moment we realize this fact will bring ourselves one step closer to being fully functioning adults and not the crazy ladies everyone pretends to love.

Well with the exception of me of course, I know you all really love me. Right? RIGHT?!?

Now excuse me while I go shove a copious amount of hot fudge sundae Pop tarts down my throat because you took a little too long to answer that question.