I suck at life. And it’s starting to reflect in my blog, seeing as I only posted once last week…and it was a repost. Gross, I know. But to be perfectly honest, the things in my life that are consuming the majority of my time are things I don’t really want to write about. They’re not bad things, they’re great actually. Shit eating grin, type of awesomeness.
Of course I wouldn’t want to talk about shit that makes me happy. Oh, no. No. No. No. I only want to be completely honest about the most embarrassing shit in my life, but I guess, that’s what makes me, me. My happiness won’t bring laughter into your life, only my stunning ability to make awkward situations even more awkward will do that.
And I won’t stop making awkward situations even more awkward until every one of you mother fuckers is laughing their goddamn heads off! This bitch be crazy for making other bitches and dicks laugh and shit. I live for that shit. Shiiiiiiiiiiiit.
But to get back to that humorous place, I have to clear my head by writing out all this shit that’s mucking up the works in this pretty little head of mine. So bare with me.
I’m so out of sync with my writing side that I’m currently drinking rum and coke out of a wine glass ANNNNNNNNNND I put on more clothes to write this shit out, rather than my normal half-nakedness. Who the fuck am I?!
I’m changing. I can feel it. And whether or not this change will be beneficial to who I am as a person, well who the fuck knows. I don’t even eat mayo that much any more. I know. I know. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!
However, I am pleased to report to I still drink a shit ton of alcohol and watch a shit ton of porn (with the exception of this glorious lent period, we Catholics are going through right now….which is a load of bullshit.) Whatever, Jesus still loves me. This I know. For the Bible tells me so.
And when I say I’m changing, I don’t mean personality wise, because fuck it, I’m fucking awesome as the person I am right now. Personality wise that is, my ass/leg/thass area could gain to lose around ten pounds.
I’m referring to my outlooks/philosophies/hipster shit I say tanked off my ass about life. Weird right? Does that even make sense?
It’s crazy how quickly your life changes. Let alone be aware of the fact that that change is occurring. I’m glad I recognize this situation, but it makes me wonder what did I miss in previous years. It also makes me wonder if I’ll hold back in soon to be pivotal moments in my life because I’m too afraid of the aftermath of my choices.
And I think that’s what’s mucking up the works currently. Those crucial, soon to be moments. For once in my life, I actually have to be serious, because my actions and choices are going to greatly influence the outcome of these things. And needless to say, it um what’s that saying? Scares the shit out of me. How could it not? I don’t do well with vulnerability in any aspect of my life and whenever there is a change that is when I’m at my most vulnerable.
But don’t you worry, when all this shit blows up in my face. You, will be the first to know.