Well the verdict is in…and my 40-day hell is going to consist of absolutely no mayo…even though porn was a close second… you sick fucks you.
I’m pretty sure this is going to entail a shit ton of withdrawals…and a lot more ranting…
For example… so many god damn hipsters have been hating on lent…I find this fucking hilarious…I’m sorry…I’m super religious…and I’m sorry your pissed off but hey….I’ll give you your ungodly love for PBR and your younger sisters calculator-watch you just can’t seem to leave the house without…also referred to as goat’s piss and stealing your younger sister’s most prized possession…if you give me my religious upbringing.
Deal?
…douche.
Also, people give you the weirdest looks when you pull out a pen and paper to jot an idea down…kind of a “who this bitch think she be…J.K. Rowling?” look.
So, I can’t wait to see the looks I get when I finally buy a voice-recorder (because I really am too lazy to be forced to write down all my epically awesome ideas down)…. “Note: black guy acting stereotypically black on public bus…also…I’m the only white person on said bus.”
Also, Also, Also! My mother has given up caffeine …I feel a shit ton of random fights between us in the works, as withdrawals and weight gain rears its ugly head again.
My prediction is I’m probably going to revert to ranch…mayo’s, less-white trashy…but still equally as embarrassing cousin…when you pull out a bottle from your purse.
My only question for you guys is am I allowed to eat Miracle Whip? Oh, god what am I saying?!?! Miracle Whip’s is Satan’s…well…I think you can put two and two together… a lady shouldn’t speak of such things.
All right, well I think its time for me to embark on day three of this hell, with some light tomfoolery…and maybe dancing…I don’t know…I don’t know.