My life is not hard.
I live such an upper middle-class white class suburban life it’s almost nauseating…well…not nauseating for me…this shit is heaven…but maybe for you who are forced to read about it.
…as I float around in my parents pool…sipping a case of Michelob Ultra…watching my
weimaraner and standard poodle bark at the bad golfers as play by my backyard …all to the easy listening of ZZ Top.
Which side note: I love ZZ top…I really do…but after a while all their songs sound exactly alike…you know that I am right.
Any who…back to the white life…it’s a beautiful picture really, with my bikini clad body reflecting sunlight (like it so often does) into the eyes of my ridiculously annoying neighbor kids.
Whatever, they deserve it.
Everything about me screams white…from my wayfayers…to my lacoste polos…to my unadulterated hatred towards liberal hippie douches/hipsters/jewish guys adorning lip rings.
Even, my “career choice” screams white. How many girls did you know in college that wanted to be writers?
“My thoughts are so thought-provoking and shit…it’s like legit…like fuck Siliva Plath and shit…that girl needed to get laid.”
…exactly.
We crackers all think that our thoughts are so unique and deserving of your time…they’re not.
Have you read my blog recently? I ramble on about mayo…and porn….and yes you laugh…but I’m pretty sure half of you laugh out of pure embarrassment that you even ended up at this web site… while the other half are just waiting for me to sell out and turn this into a porn web site.
I don’t know why I feel this constant need to inform you all that I’m white all of a sudden…but while we are on the subject…yes, it is true…I am in fact not an ethnic.
…just in case you were wondering.