for those of you blissfully unaware...


I used to have adult braces when I was 21.

…I’m now 22.

Those days still haunt me.

I don’t think I will ever be able to accurately explain the mental havoc adult braces cause on the individual psyche.

It fucking sucks.

I’ve had a 13 year-old hit on me in a Dairy Queen…I don’t want to talk about it.

So if you ever find yourself in this terrible situation…yell at your parents for not loving you when you were younger and then get the ceramic braces.

 They don’t make a difference up close…and they will cause you to uncontrollably snore/drool/fart(don’t ask)…but they aren’t noticeable about 10ft away…so that way that guy walking towards you won’t notice them till about 3ft and then he can’t turn around without looking like a total douche in front of your friends…

ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND that way…even with adult braces…he will be forced to talk to you for approximately 10 minutes…giving you ample opportunity to allow your personality to sparkle…and roofie his drink.

It’s a win-win situation to be quite honest...

He gets laid…and you get to tell yourself you aren’t sexually repulsive to the opposite sex…even though you did in fact dope him up with roofies.

Whatever…fuck you…bitches with braces got feelings too.