Now I’m probably completely off base when I say this…but then again when do I not say shit where I’m obviously wrong and off base……exactly.
That being said. I honestly feel like there are only two types of people when it comes to relationships. There are the people that can’t not not be in a relationship…and then there are the ones who just simply can’t be in a relationship.
I fall into the latter. And I am completely aware that this is unhealthy. Unhealthy in the sense that I cannot comprehend intimacy. I even hate looking at that word…saying it…prounouncing it correctly without gagging.
…intimacy…what a douche.
However…the other group isn’t that great either. I like to think that where I (and the fellow intimacy haters) lack intimacy…we gain a shit ton of independence…and vice versa. Meaning where I seem unable to learn how to function normally with someone else…and be happy. The others have no clue how to be by themselves…and be happy.
Both situations suck to be perfectly honest. While I love my independence and the drive it has given me to follow my dreams…I do wonder about myself in the future love department.
I like me. I’m pretty cool. I’ve heard I’m decently funny (when I’m drunk). But will I always like myself better than every guy I ever I’m with?
Will I ever actually “love” someone? Just writing that made me cringe.
Oh…I’m smart too. I know exactly what I’m doing. I always pick guys that I know it will NEVER NEVER work out with. You know…jackasses…pricks…dicks…ridicously hot, yet ridicously dumb guys…drummers.
I do know I’m going to get divorced in the future. That’s a given. I’m too stuck in my ways. I want, what I want, when I want it….I don’t feel like that personal philosophy is changing any time soon.
I’m also terrible at “sacrificing” in relationships. Once I feel like my objectives for my future are being compromised because of some dude I probably won’t give a fuck about in 3 months...and the sex isn’t that great… I’m outie.
To me love comes with a shit ton of strings. And let’s be honest with ourselves…I’m not wrong. Sometimes love means giving up your dreams (especially for women) and that’s fine…if you’re okay with that.
I’m not.
I guess what I really want to know if there is a middle ground. Is it possible to be happy and in love and follow your dreams? And is this just a girl thing? Or do guys have to deal with this too.
If not…you guys fucking suck.