Who did I see, you ask?
Arcade Fire
The Black Keys
Eminem
Mumford and Sons
Florence and the Machine
Grace Potter and the Nocturnals
Lewis Black, Eugine Mirman and Ted Alexander
Beirut
Iron and Wine
Amos Lee
Freelance Whales
Atmosphere
…just to name a few.
Now on to the jokes…or should I say…shit that pissed me off at bonnaroo.
1. Chicks that feel the need to walk around topless.
Why? No one else is doing it. We aren’t at some nude beach…we are jam packed in a 700 acre far…I really don’t want you to accidently boob check me with your actual boob. Also your tits are small…no one wants to see them anyways. And furthermore walking without a bra fucking hurts. God damn feminists.
2. Dude “painting” the sky.
Fuck you. it’s legitimately 100 degrees outside…and you’re going to pull out a ladder…and a can of blue paint…in fucking overalls…and paint the fucking sky?!?! God damn liberal hippie douches.
3. Bandanas.
Oh come on!
4. Girls that look better in a bikini than me.
Fuck off.
5. Dudes that look better in a bikini than me.
Fuck off.
6. Bonnaroo’s comedy tent.
If you haven’t noticed I’m obsessed with comedy. And the comedians coming to the festival was a major selling point for me, Bonnaroo. So um…don’t sell 85,000 tickets and only make your comedy tent able to fit 600 people.
7. Not being able to see my idol, Kathleen Madigan, perform.
I’m still crying on the inside.
8. 106 Heat Index.
Stop being a whore, mother nature.
9. Having to throw away my fucking Powerades at the security check point.
That was total bullshit….oh I’m sorry… if you haven’t noticed…it’s fucking hot as shit outside…and I would like to be able to keep my body fully hydrated…if that’s okay with you….asshole.
10. Being covered in mud for 4 days.
It’s not a good look for me.