I watch porn. Shocking, I know. And not the girly type either, with these ridiculously unbelievable story lines.
You know, the ones with the banging hot farm-boy, and the banging hot farmer’s daughter, and the farmer’s daughter comes out of the farmhouse looking for milk, and the farm-boy says a perfectly timed one-liner, “I’ve got some milk for you.” And they start banging immediately.
No. I don’t watch that type of porn. I’m too distracted by all the fallacies flying around my head to enjoy the entertainment value.
Like, first of all, in the real world these two people are NOT going to be hot. And even if they were semi- decent looking, farm-boy over there was just shoveling pig-shit. So, I doubt he smells good, at all.
And farm-girl, don’t even get me started on her, and her perfectly symmetrical boobs. Where’s the cellulite? Where’s the missing teeth, porn-making people?
I am paying decent money for these free online videos. I want some goddamn realism. I thought that was the allure of porn, you know “sex-type situations” that could actually happen.
You can’t even rent an adult film with a man and a woman and a man and two other men in an intimate moment together, without all this salty language. Where’s the integrity?
I don’t care if you’re getting rammed in the ass missy, what would your mother think if she heard you say, “Fuck me harder”?