There’s nothing hotter than a boy that’s got his shit together.
Seriously, I’d totally get naked (with the lights off) for a dude that’s got a college degree.
However, I seem to repeatedly find myself involved/infatuated with/stalking a man of the complete opposite of someone who, how do you say “has his or her shit together.”
You know the type…losers/fuck-ups/boys who ask “Who’s Chevy Chase?”
So now after years and years of following the same toxic pattern I decided to do some research on the Google machine and found this:
“Women who follow a specific toxic pattern with fuck ups/losers/assistant manager’s of McDonalds suffer from an insatiable need of dominance,” according to a clinical study that I just made up for this blog post.
This makes sense to me.
…I would also like to point out that I have played with my boobs five times while writing this post. Why, you ask? Well honestly, anytime I get writers block I play with my boobs. And two they are sublime…really…they are…
Seeing as women will never get to experience the insurmountable bliss followed by a sexual facial or as I like to call it “dude jizzing on a hoe’s face.”
Overpowering a man with sure brainpower is quite obviously the next best thing.
For women, the only way to really dominate a man nowadays is by finding one of equal or lesser value, publicly humiliate him…repeatedly, then throwing globs of mayo on his face.
So until America discovers the female equivalent to a facial, I think every woman has the choice…NO…the right! To only choose men who are easily embarrassed by math equations/general social norms/uncontrollable flatulence.
…and still be allowed to throw mayo on their faces.
It’s only fair.
Why shouldn’t I be able allowed to socially demean men with my figurative penis?
…exactly.