1. “The Cosby Show” is probably my favorite TV show.
…ever.
2. That being said...I’m obsessed with Bill Cosby.
… I’m pretty sure he is God... yes, God is black.
3. I once brought a rotisserie chicken to a public pool.
…and ate the whole thing…I was on a low-carb diet at the time…I have no shame during low-carb diets…aw hell…I have no fucking shame.
4. I love rap songs with lyrics derogatory towards women.
…I wish I were joking.
5. Have you ever won an in depth argument about rap against a black man?
…I have.
6. You know what’s awesome?
… Watermelon.
7. You know what’s even more awesome than watermelon?
…Malt liquor…specifically Hurricanes…in a 40 ounce bottle(s).
8. I like this song a little too much…
9. And this song…
10. I once threatened to kill a random girl who chucked a mug through our screen-glass door.
… long story short, there was a crazy ass party going on across the way one night, and someone threw a “Happy 50th Birthday” mug at our balcony breaking the glass door, when we went outside to investigate the situation, this drunk whore of a chick started flipping us the bird, and rumor has it, I went fucking psycho. I don’t remember, I momentarily blacked out from rage… the bitch was lucky though, if I had been anywhere near her, I would have beat the shit out of her. I’m not joking.
11. Have you ever been asked if you were half-black, when you so obviously are not?
…I have.
12. Recently won a free shot at a bar.
… for knowing a rap song.
13. I paid for Taco Bell with all change while going through the Drive-Thru
…on numerous occasions.
14. I am most likely going to get Type-2 diabetes.
…no seriously…I’ve put chocolate syrup on bacon before…I am most likely going to get Type-2 diabetes.
15. I live in the ghetto.
…people living in Harlem say what?! No seriously, what do they say?