Or at least I don't act like one. If you don't believe me, just read on.
1. I just spent 5 minutes trying to untangle my earphones out of my polygamist wife hair.
2. I haven't been up before 9 am-10 am in about a month now.
3. Things I have thought to myself today:
a. "Pollack...what a great racial slur."
b. "Why aren't there more raisins in the knock off Raisin Bran?"
c. "What's that smell? ...oh."
4. I'm 24 and I don't have health insurance. Even with this Obamacare shiz I'm still not covered.
5. I'm a fucking nanny.
6. I get in daily arguments with a 5 year old... because I'm a fucking nanny.
7. I usually lose these daily arguments with the 5 year old.
8. I often find myself in deep conversations with nannies from Trinidad about the most effective ways to lose weight...because I'm a fucking nanny!
9. I usually don't put on any clothes until about 3 in the afternoon.
10. Still haven't figured out this, "how to properly show affection in public" thang.
11. I just used the word, "thang."
12. I ate burritos for breakfast today.
13. Well, I ate burritos for breakfast, right after I finished a bowl of healthy knock off raisin bran.
14. I buy knock off raisin bran...amongst other things.
15. I'm very excited to partake in Burger King's new bacon sundae.
16. I call it a productive day if I have written half a blog post.
17. I like popping zits.
18. I like popping zits a little too much.
19. I laugh at the Asian racial slurs the 9- year old I nanny says a little too hard.
20. I basically want to find a job where I never have to leave my bed, put on clothes or interact with the general public... and I keep telling myself this is a possibility.